Family Court = OMG Ew!

My husband filed for custody in February. Custody of the child he went out of his way to avoid for the first 14 months of his life. It was only after we split that he wanted more time with his child. I don't know if he was trying to get back at me or if it was a classic case of " you don't know what you've got till its gone" but he was suddenly pushing for equal split custody. Probably to avoid child support. 

If anyone has dealt with family court before you know what I mean when I say EW! I've never even been inside a court room before this occasion and I had no idea what to expect, and like every instance of using Google to look up information on anything, I was sent into a tailspin of anxiety reading all the horror stories of children being taken from their caregivers to ensure the fathers rights are respected, even despite a chronic history of indifference or neglect. I was scared to say the least. And my fear put me into action. I spent three sleepless nights preparing a lengthy cross petition against equal split custody. I moved for visitation, even though his home was not really suitable for children. I knew he was guaranteed some time with his child, I was just trying to mitigate the effects on my son to the best of my ability. So fast forward to our court date, which was of course changed last minute because the lawyer for the child had to cancel. We were able to come to a mutual agreement before going before the judge, which ended up working out in our favor because the judge is far too old and far too disinterested in his job to actually hear a case. He was slouched over in his chair tapping his fingers impatiently as the child's lawyer presented our agreement and we were leaving the court room before our seats had even warmed. On that day, we left with a custody agreement that worked out for the most part; my son would visit his father from 8am to 8pm Sunday and Monday every two weeks. We were given an 8 week trial period and told to return for our follow-up court date. 

When we got here, it was everyone's hope that we would write the agreement into an order...until my husband and his lawyer pulled some fancy footwork. Commence the whirlwind court experience as we were discussing a change in the agreement while walking into the court room. My husband wanted an overnight visit every two weeks. I agreed because it would be easier for my son that way. The child's lawyer stood before the judge and said we'd come to an agreement, which pleased the still impatient and ornery judge. And as she explained the agreement, my husbands lawyer jumped up and said "No that is not what we asked for; we wanted two overnights and an off week dinner visit." I felt railroaded to say the least, as the judge sat that tapping his foot, waiting for my answer and snipping quipping, "Do we need to take a recess?"

I agreed, not really knowing what I was agreeing to and left with a distinctly sour taste in my mouth. My child, who has never been outside my care until we had the visitation order would not be coming home that night. For the first time ever. He went from 12 hour periods of visitation to a full 48 hours away from his family. And it broke my heart. 

And now, my husband is finally able to communicate with me, and when we talks about custody he agreed that maybe it WOULD be better for our son to have only one overnight every weekend, instead of two overnights in a row every two weeks. I wish he'd just tried talking with me in the first place and we wouldn't have to deal with the court room nonsense at all. Because now well have to go before the courts AGAIN to modify the custody agreement. More family court...yay. 

Not to mention we've got a child support hearing in a few weeks. Ugh!